Skip navigation! Story from Sex. You get to decide what "counts. It's a social construct we made up, and the person you are after sex is the same as before sex, just like you [were] the same person before and after you ate ice cream for the first time. That said, you don't want to get a brain freeze the first time you eat ice cream. And you probably want your first time having sex , whatever that means to you, to be fun and pleasurable for both you and your partner.

First-time sex can be a tricky, scary and confusing thing. For starters, people define "sex" in different ways. It can include vaginal sex, oral sex, anal sex, and other activities. Maybe you've already learned about sex in school, from friends, from parents, or somewhere online, and maybe you're not ready to have sex yet — which is totally normal.

That said, it may help to explore some of your own needs and wants via a one-on-one session with yourself prior to engaging in partnered sex more on that later. But, basically: Relax, breathe, and take it all in stride. The best thing you can do before you have sex for the first time: masturbate.

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